My latest newspaper column:
http://www.shelbynews.com/articles/2009/07/04/news/doc4a4d764d87bfe777292734.txt
Saturday, July 04, 2009
What means much to you?
Father never accepted any gift from his students, but when his daughter became a teacher, she never refused any gifts from her students.
The father was upset by this practice, so one day he reproached his daughter: "I do not accept any gift because gifts mean nothing to me. It pains me to know that you grab all that your disciples bring to you."
The daughter replied: "Father, if gifts mean nothing to you, why are you bothered whether I accept them or reject them?"
In my life, what means much to me, even when I think it doesn't?
The father was upset by this practice, so one day he reproached his daughter: "I do not accept any gift because gifts mean nothing to me. It pains me to know that you grab all that your disciples bring to you."
The daughter replied: "Father, if gifts mean nothing to you, why are you bothered whether I accept them or reject them?"
In my life, what means much to me, even when I think it doesn't?
Monday, June 29, 2009
Words That Create Community
This is from Henri Nouwen's Bread for the Journey and is titled "Words That Create Community."
The word is always a word for others. Words need to be heard. When we give words to what we are living, these words need to be received and responded to. A speaker needs a listener. A writer needs a reader.
When the flesh - the lived human experience - becomes word, community can develop. When we say, "Let me tell you what we saw. Come and listen to what we did. Sit down and let me explain to you what happened to us. Wait until you hear whom we met," we call people together and make our lives into lives for others. The word brings us together and calls us into community. When the flesh becomes word, our bodies become part of a body of people.
The word is always a word for others. Words need to be heard. When we give words to what we are living, these words need to be received and responded to. A speaker needs a listener. A writer needs a reader.
When the flesh - the lived human experience - becomes word, community can develop. When we say, "Let me tell you what we saw. Come and listen to what we did. Sit down and let me explain to you what happened to us. Wait until you hear whom we met," we call people together and make our lives into lives for others. The word brings us together and calls us into community. When the flesh becomes word, our bodies become part of a body of people.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Marriage is like ....
Can als be found at http://www.shelbynews.com/articles/2009/06/27/news/doc4a43debaed39b936699370.txt
A phone call in the night
By Nathan Day Wilson
Today is my wedding anniversary. It’s also my wife’s.
I’m not going to tell you how many years we’ve been married. Don’t want to mess up the math. Let’s just say that, for me, it seems like our marriage began yesterday; for my wife, I think concepts of eternity come to mind. We’ve been married somewhere in between.
Perhaps due to the anniversary, or perhaps due to a recent writing conference, or perhaps due to the many weddings I am celebrating this year, or perhaps due to indigestion, I was wondering what a good metaphor for marriage is. You know, “Marriage is like ….” and then you fill in the blank to describe this abstract idea of marriage.
To help me develop a good metaphor, I started to ask my wife, but then remembered wisdom of one of my late heroes, comedian Rodney Dangerfield, who said, “I haven’t talked to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
I took his advice and decided instead to check with others. Of course, lots of people have had lots to say about marriage.
From philosophers, even the esteemed Socrates: “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you will become happy; and if you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher.”From film directors, such as King Vidor: “Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.”
Similarly, from authors, such as John Mortimer: “Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.” And Helen Rowland: “Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.”
And of course, there are words aplenty from comedians, such as Evelyn Hendrickson: “Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.” And I’m sure you’d be surprised that Dave Barry has said a word or two about marriage: “Contrary to what many women believe, it’s fairly easy to develop a long-term, stable, intimate and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course this guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys, it’s extremely difficult.”
Of course, no column that mentions marriage is complete without quoting Mae West: “They say love is blind ... and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.”
That's enough already. Let’s move on to something worth remembering. For instance, the sentimental side of me — yes, there is one, I just hide it — likes this quote from Ivern Ball, “A good marriage is like a good trade: Each thinks he got the better deal.”
That’s something I would include in my metaphor for marriage. As well as something about how my wife inspires me with her concerns and commitments. Something about how she impresses me with her capacity to remember schedules and balance interests. Something about how she impacts my life, the lives of our children, of our family, of people on the other side of the world with her love.
With all those words from others and thoughts of my own, I decided it was time to develop my own metaphor for marriage. So I asked myself, “Self, what is marriage like?”
But before I answered, I was interrupted. Go figure.
A phone call in the night
By Nathan Day Wilson
Today is my wedding anniversary. It’s also my wife’s.
I’m not going to tell you how many years we’ve been married. Don’t want to mess up the math. Let’s just say that, for me, it seems like our marriage began yesterday; for my wife, I think concepts of eternity come to mind. We’ve been married somewhere in between.
Perhaps due to the anniversary, or perhaps due to a recent writing conference, or perhaps due to the many weddings I am celebrating this year, or perhaps due to indigestion, I was wondering what a good metaphor for marriage is. You know, “Marriage is like ….” and then you fill in the blank to describe this abstract idea of marriage.
To help me develop a good metaphor, I started to ask my wife, but then remembered wisdom of one of my late heroes, comedian Rodney Dangerfield, who said, “I haven’t talked to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
I took his advice and decided instead to check with others. Of course, lots of people have had lots to say about marriage.
From philosophers, even the esteemed Socrates: “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you will become happy; and if you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher.”From film directors, such as King Vidor: “Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.”
Similarly, from authors, such as John Mortimer: “Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.” And Helen Rowland: “Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.”
And of course, there are words aplenty from comedians, such as Evelyn Hendrickson: “Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.” And I’m sure you’d be surprised that Dave Barry has said a word or two about marriage: “Contrary to what many women believe, it’s fairly easy to develop a long-term, stable, intimate and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course this guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys, it’s extremely difficult.”
Of course, no column that mentions marriage is complete without quoting Mae West: “They say love is blind ... and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.”
That's enough already. Let’s move on to something worth remembering. For instance, the sentimental side of me — yes, there is one, I just hide it — likes this quote from Ivern Ball, “A good marriage is like a good trade: Each thinks he got the better deal.”
That’s something I would include in my metaphor for marriage. As well as something about how my wife inspires me with her concerns and commitments. Something about how she impresses me with her capacity to remember schedules and balance interests. Something about how she impacts my life, the lives of our children, of our family, of people on the other side of the world with her love.
With all those words from others and thoughts of my own, I decided it was time to develop my own metaphor for marriage. So I asked myself, “Self, what is marriage like?”
But before I answered, I was interrupted. Go figure.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Not Being Distracted
Can You Hear Me?
The master of ceremony bragged on the elementary-aged award recipients: their concern for the environment, their vision of a recycling program, their stamina to make the vision a reality. He called their names. Wild applause, some standing, pictures flashing. But only one recipient appeared.
When the emcee repeated the second name, there was muffled laughter when someone said, “Em, he’s in the john!” Apparently the little boy just couldn’t hold it any longer. This was his big moment, his chance to shine, his opportunity. His name was called, his response was anticipated, but he was in the john!
I wonder how often I am “otherwise occupied” when God calls my name. Something God wants to teach me, something God wants to show me, something God wants to give me - even bigger than a community award – and I am, well, distracted. For what is God calling my name?
For example, lately God is teaching me how fragile life is, showing me how important relationships are, giving me the gift of faith in the midst of struggle and calling me to more focused ministry.
How about you? What is God teaching, showing, giving your right now? For what is God calling your name? I don’t pretend to know the answers for you, but I am always eager to discern the answers with you.
Please contact me for opportunities to talk.
It’s your big moment. God is bragging about you. God is calling your name. So, try not to spend it in the john!
See you soon at the place where God teaches, shows, gives and calls-
Nathan
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Musicals as communication
I don’t know enough, but since you don’t know that I don’t, I’ll act like I do.
I’ve listened to musicals throughout my life, but feeling their power and assessing their quality are new to me. While affinity is finally decided by the temperamental viewer, there are some standards.
Quality musicals begin with powerful voices. If the voices are weak, it’s likely the musical is weak. Consistently misuse a voice and it may develop nodules, which can ruin a voice and a musical.
Quality musicals tell interesting stories without taking too long. Take too long and the audience may fall asleep. The more interesting the story, the longer can be the musical – if necessary.
Quality musicals are packed with striking costumes and stunning sets. The details of both energize the audience, enhance the production and enliven the story.
Quality musicals finish strong, unlike this essay.
I’ve listened to musicals throughout my life, but feeling their power and assessing their quality are new to me. While affinity is finally decided by the temperamental viewer, there are some standards.
Quality musicals begin with powerful voices. If the voices are weak, it’s likely the musical is weak. Consistently misuse a voice and it may develop nodules, which can ruin a voice and a musical.
Quality musicals tell interesting stories without taking too long. Take too long and the audience may fall asleep. The more interesting the story, the longer can be the musical – if necessary.
Quality musicals are packed with striking costumes and stunning sets. The details of both energize the audience, enhance the production and enliven the story.
Quality musicals finish strong, unlike this essay.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Good writing
This week I’m at the Collegeville Institute for Ecumenical and Cultural Research to participate in a writer’s conference. It’s my first time to the Institute, though I have long been a fan of its publications and other work.
I awoke this morning at 6:00 and walked down a road and across a bridge to the other side of Lake Stumpf. The problem was that my phone, which of course serves as my clock since that makes sense, did not automatically reset to local time, as I expected. I discovered this upon entering the fitness center, which I was pleased to find open, and a few ROTC members said the center was open only for the ROTC until 6:30. It was 5:40.
I like the architecture and layout that I saw on Saint John’s University campus. The Sexton Commons in particular, which I was also pleased to find open (no shops or stores within the building were yet ready for the day’s business, but the building itself was open with a few food service employees milling about), is a very attractive space.
Here’s a quote from Michael Dennis Browne, a librettist, from a publication of the Collegeville Institute: “A good piece of writing is an opportunity for the reader to imagine. You, the reader, are given the ingredients, the makings; the cooking is up to you. It does require a certain temperature if the water is to boil.”
This week I hope to learn more about providing ingredients.
I awoke this morning at 6:00 and walked down a road and across a bridge to the other side of Lake Stumpf. The problem was that my phone, which of course serves as my clock since that makes sense, did not automatically reset to local time, as I expected. I discovered this upon entering the fitness center, which I was pleased to find open, and a few ROTC members said the center was open only for the ROTC until 6:30. It was 5:40.
I like the architecture and layout that I saw on Saint John’s University campus. The Sexton Commons in particular, which I was also pleased to find open (no shops or stores within the building were yet ready for the day’s business, but the building itself was open with a few food service employees milling about), is a very attractive space.
Here’s a quote from Michael Dennis Browne, a librettist, from a publication of the Collegeville Institute: “A good piece of writing is an opportunity for the reader to imagine. You, the reader, are given the ingredients, the makings; the cooking is up to you. It does require a certain temperature if the water is to boil.”
This week I hope to learn more about providing ingredients.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Socializing
What kind of adult?
By Nathan Day Wilson
Published: Friday, June 12, 2009 7:13 AM US/eastern
A woman who attends First Christian Church recently scheduled counseling with me. She wanted to discuss her teenager and seek suggestions.
You’ve probably seen the scenario she described: Her teenager can text with phone in pocket, keep up with friends on Facebook and create an excellent video PowerPoint — all while listening to an iPod and balancing on one foot. (OK, I added that “balancing on one foot” part for effect.)
Much to the mother’s chagrin, however, that same teenager can barely make a bed or give directions from our church on West Washington Street to his house. Said teenager won’t look adults in the eye or audibly greet them. Perhaps most disconcerting to mom, her teenager seems to have no appreciation for community projects, needs or issues.
Mom to me: “What kind of adult will (her teenager) become?”
I reassured her that erratic behavior for teens has been around as long as teens have been around. It’s common as children become teens and teens become young adults.
As we talked further, though, something else occurred to me. While our bodies are biologically maturing earlier due to nutritional and genetic influences, I wonder if some aspects of our social maturity are being delayed due, at least in part, to technological advancements and time spent with technology.
So I looked into this and found others more learned than I to be in agreement. For instance, two psychologists, Peter Gluckman and Mark Hanson, wrote a book about it titled “Mismatch: Why Our World No Longer Fits Our Bodies.”
Their thesis can be summarized by this line: “The coincidence of reproductive and social maturation which existed for most of our history has been lost.”
Reading that made me ask myself: “Self, what does it mean to be socially mature?” Gluckman and Hanson say it is having “the skills necessary to be a successful adult.” Even I can remember that definition, so it works well enough for me.
Being the astute reader that you are, you probably could predict what I wondered next: If being socially mature means having the skills to be a successful adult, then what are those skills?
At this point in your reading pleasure, you are invited to ponder for two moments and name what skills you think are needed in order for one to be a successful adult.
OK, that’s enough pondering. Don’t want you to hurt yourself. Let me quickly say that I do not agree that time spent online is necessarily wasted time.
In fact, I think some social skills are learned while using technological tools and toys. Like what, you ask?
Well, like the fact that social worlds negotiated online are permanent, public and involve managing elaborate networks of friends and acquaintances. Or, like the fact that online socializing is always on and always immediate.
But there are other skills not well developed online, such as the skill of learning what it feels like to contribute to the care of one’s home. I know it can be a drag, but having a home that is somewhat organized and clean is mind-clearing and uplifting.
Here’s another skill that many teens I know greatly appreciate: Volunteering. I know many teens at First Christian and outside it who love to volunteer, not least because of the “helper’s high” they get from doing so.
Now, here’s where you come in. What skills would you say are needed for one to be a successful adult? I’d really like to know. Please send them to me at nathan@fccshelby.org, or by using the comment function if you read this online.
Adolescents are demonstrating their abilities to master technology; maybe we all together can develop abilities to live meaningful lives.
By Nathan Day Wilson
Published: Friday, June 12, 2009 7:13 AM US/eastern
A woman who attends First Christian Church recently scheduled counseling with me. She wanted to discuss her teenager and seek suggestions.
You’ve probably seen the scenario she described: Her teenager can text with phone in pocket, keep up with friends on Facebook and create an excellent video PowerPoint — all while listening to an iPod and balancing on one foot. (OK, I added that “balancing on one foot” part for effect.)
Much to the mother’s chagrin, however, that same teenager can barely make a bed or give directions from our church on West Washington Street to his house. Said teenager won’t look adults in the eye or audibly greet them. Perhaps most disconcerting to mom, her teenager seems to have no appreciation for community projects, needs or issues.
Mom to me: “What kind of adult will (her teenager) become?”
I reassured her that erratic behavior for teens has been around as long as teens have been around. It’s common as children become teens and teens become young adults.
As we talked further, though, something else occurred to me. While our bodies are biologically maturing earlier due to nutritional and genetic influences, I wonder if some aspects of our social maturity are being delayed due, at least in part, to technological advancements and time spent with technology.
So I looked into this and found others more learned than I to be in agreement. For instance, two psychologists, Peter Gluckman and Mark Hanson, wrote a book about it titled “Mismatch: Why Our World No Longer Fits Our Bodies.”
Their thesis can be summarized by this line: “The coincidence of reproductive and social maturation which existed for most of our history has been lost.”
Reading that made me ask myself: “Self, what does it mean to be socially mature?” Gluckman and Hanson say it is having “the skills necessary to be a successful adult.” Even I can remember that definition, so it works well enough for me.
Being the astute reader that you are, you probably could predict what I wondered next: If being socially mature means having the skills to be a successful adult, then what are those skills?
At this point in your reading pleasure, you are invited to ponder for two moments and name what skills you think are needed in order for one to be a successful adult.
OK, that’s enough pondering. Don’t want you to hurt yourself. Let me quickly say that I do not agree that time spent online is necessarily wasted time.
In fact, I think some social skills are learned while using technological tools and toys. Like what, you ask?
Well, like the fact that social worlds negotiated online are permanent, public and involve managing elaborate networks of friends and acquaintances. Or, like the fact that online socializing is always on and always immediate.
But there are other skills not well developed online, such as the skill of learning what it feels like to contribute to the care of one’s home. I know it can be a drag, but having a home that is somewhat organized and clean is mind-clearing and uplifting.
Here’s another skill that many teens I know greatly appreciate: Volunteering. I know many teens at First Christian and outside it who love to volunteer, not least because of the “helper’s high” they get from doing so.
Now, here’s where you come in. What skills would you say are needed for one to be a successful adult? I’d really like to know. Please send them to me at nathan@fccshelby.org, or by using the comment function if you read this online.
Adolescents are demonstrating their abilities to master technology; maybe we all together can develop abilities to live meaningful lives.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Today's Students Are More Globally Aware, Less Materialistic, Leading Pollster Says
This is from The Chroncile of Higher Education. What do you think?
Washington — The generation of young people who are filling college classrooms and becoming junior faculty members today are more globally aware and less concerned about material wealth than were their predecessors, a leading public-opinion pollster told more than 150 college and university presidents and other top administrators who attended The Chronicle’s Leadership Forum here today.
John Zogby, who is president and chief executive officer of the marketing and research firm Zogby International and has been conducting polls for more than 20 years, said college administrators should keep in mind the priorities of “America’s first global citizens” — those now 18 to 30 years old. Fifty-six percent of people in that age group, he said, have passports and have traveled abroad: “They are as likely to say they are citizens of the planet Earth as they are to say they are citizens of the United States.”
Mr. Zogby has taught history for 25 years and is a senior adviser at Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government. He is also the author of The Way We’ll Be: The Zogby Report on the Transformation of the American Dream.
Today’s college students are “the most diverse, multicultural generation yet produced,” he said, and are more tolerant of differences. “College students don’t believe that American culture is inherently superior to the cultures of Africa” and other parts of the world, he said.
Even though a growing proportion of Americans — possibly 30 percent now — are earning less than they did in their previous jobs, a surprising number still say they believe in the American dream, he said. The definition has changed, however.
“We’re not only looking at a transformation of the American dream, but in many ways at a transformation of the American character,” he said. Instead of focusing on material wealth and professional status, people in their 20s and early 30s are more likely to seek a rewarding and spiritually-fulfilling life, he said.
Some of these “secular spiritualists” have already taken pay cuts and see little immediate hope of regaining their former earnings. Their attitude, he said, is, “God threw me lemons, so I may as well make lemonade.”
—Katherine Mangan
Washington — The generation of young people who are filling college classrooms and becoming junior faculty members today are more globally aware and less concerned about material wealth than were their predecessors, a leading public-opinion pollster told more than 150 college and university presidents and other top administrators who attended The Chronicle’s Leadership Forum here today.
John Zogby, who is president and chief executive officer of the marketing and research firm Zogby International and has been conducting polls for more than 20 years, said college administrators should keep in mind the priorities of “America’s first global citizens” — those now 18 to 30 years old. Fifty-six percent of people in that age group, he said, have passports and have traveled abroad: “They are as likely to say they are citizens of the planet Earth as they are to say they are citizens of the United States.”
Mr. Zogby has taught history for 25 years and is a senior adviser at Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government. He is also the author of The Way We’ll Be: The Zogby Report on the Transformation of the American Dream.
Today’s college students are “the most diverse, multicultural generation yet produced,” he said, and are more tolerant of differences. “College students don’t believe that American culture is inherently superior to the cultures of Africa” and other parts of the world, he said.
Even though a growing proportion of Americans — possibly 30 percent now — are earning less than they did in their previous jobs, a surprising number still say they believe in the American dream, he said. The definition has changed, however.
“We’re not only looking at a transformation of the American dream, but in many ways at a transformation of the American character,” he said. Instead of focusing on material wealth and professional status, people in their 20s and early 30s are more likely to seek a rewarding and spiritually-fulfilling life, he said.
Some of these “secular spiritualists” have already taken pay cuts and see little immediate hope of regaining their former earnings. Their attitude, he said, is, “God threw me lemons, so I may as well make lemonade.”
—Katherine Mangan
Saturday, June 06, 2009
What Now baccalaureate 2009
Asking, ‘What now?’
By Nathan Day Wilson
Published: Friday, June 5, 2009 12:43 AM US/eastern
Last Saturday, I had the privilege of being this year’s baccalaureate preacher at Shelbyville High School. I was honored to be asked and enjoyed the time very much.
The title of my talk was “What Now?” In it, I suggested four life stances to take when faced with a “what now” decision, such as what now after the end of high school. Conveniently, the four suggestions form the acrostic BEAR so that a group of Shelbyville Golden Bears could easily remember them.
So, the B: Be bold!
By bold I don’t mean try to jump a building in a single bound or outrun speeding bullets — though if a bullet is heading your way, you might try something. What I mean is boldly stand for principles and values that improve this world for us all.
For instance, when someone is cast out by the majority — maybe because of race or religion, appearance or accent, sexual orientation or spiritual depth — what I hope is that our new graduates and all of us will boldly stand with and for that person. When we do, we answer the question “what now” by saying that now is the time for no more prejudice, no more bias, no more discrimination. Now is the time for dignity, for community, for love.
Another way to be bold is by not making life decisions based on where the money is good; instead, focus on where the work is good. That is, focus where the good comes from the difference the work makes in your life and the lives of others. When that happens, we answer the question “what now” by saying now is the time to make a difference in my life and in the lives of others.
Of course, being bold means we will make mistakes. Making honest mistakes when living life boldly is a whole lot better than living some namby-pamby, half-baked cautious life. If we avoid the possibility of making mistakes by not being bold, then we also avoid the risk of success, achievement and even joy.
Second, the E: Enjoy life!
Enjoying life doesn’t only mean be happy. Happiness is good, but happiness can be temporary and fleeting.
Enjoying life means looking for joy. Joy can be lasting partly because joy comes from pursuing one’s interests and passions. My advice to those going on to college — which is not always well-received by their parents — is study what you love. Studying what is marketable might work for a while, but usually it only works a while. Studying what you love is much more likely to last!
Is there anything sadder than parents who pressure their children to live the parents’ dreams? Of course, we parents should give our kids advice — especially when we have their best interests at heart.
But we shouldn’t pressure our kids to live our dreams. They have or might develop dreams of their own.
Enjoy life also means enjoying family and friends. Nothing, not fame or fortune, not diplomas or distinctions, can replace the joy of family or true friends. When you are wrong, say so and ask for forgiveness. When someone wrongs you, offer forgiveness and hopefully reconcile. Enjoy life.
We answer the question “what now” by saying now is the time to enjoy life by pursuing my passions and interests, and by enjoying my family.
Third, the A: Ask questions!
Ask questions. Ask why things are the way they appear to be. More importantly, ask why things are not the way they ought to be.
I like to illustrate this point by saying it is absolutely great to help clean trash out of a creek. And it’s important to go up stream and ask who is putting the trash in to start with.
It’s absolutely great to build houses with Habitat for Humanity. And it’s important to ask why so many people are homeless.
An especially important question for us all to ask ourselves is, “Who tells you who you are?”
Some people need money to tell them who they are. Money is important and can be put to great use, but money shouldn’t define who we are.
Some people need power to tell them who they are. Some need academic institutions. Oddly, some need enemies, and without enemies to stand against, they don’t know what they stand for.
If it’s God telling us who we are, then we don’t have to prove ourselves. If God tells us who we are, then we are precious, unprecedented, unrepeatable, irreplaceable. Rather than proving ourselves, we simply need to express ourselves as the ones God made and meant for us to be.
We answer the question “what now” by saying now is the time to ask questions.
Finally, the R: Reimagine reality!
First of all, we reimagine the reality of our lives. Yes, we make mistakes, but we don’t need to cling to those mistakes as though they are the holiest things in our lives! They are not, so quit letting them weigh you down.
Yes, we sin. However — and this is one of my favorite things to say — there is more forgiveness in God than sin in you! Accept that forgiveness and face today’s challenges with today’s strength. You should never let yesterday dictate tomorrow.
The second part of reimagining reality is to reimagine our community and world with hope. I love the definition of hope that says “Hope is belief despite the evidence and then making the evidence change.”
We answer the question “what now” by saying now is the time to reimagine reality for ourselves and others.
“What now?” is not a question intended to cause panic and concern. Instead, my use of “What now?” is to recognize that our future is open, that we may do more than others expect of us, that at every point in our development we are striving to grow.
At the end of the day, my hope for the class of 2009 is a hope for us all: rather than focus so much on how to make a living, we focus on how to make lives worth living.
By Nathan Day Wilson
Published: Friday, June 5, 2009 12:43 AM US/eastern
Last Saturday, I had the privilege of being this year’s baccalaureate preacher at Shelbyville High School. I was honored to be asked and enjoyed the time very much.
The title of my talk was “What Now?” In it, I suggested four life stances to take when faced with a “what now” decision, such as what now after the end of high school. Conveniently, the four suggestions form the acrostic BEAR so that a group of Shelbyville Golden Bears could easily remember them.
So, the B: Be bold!
By bold I don’t mean try to jump a building in a single bound or outrun speeding bullets — though if a bullet is heading your way, you might try something. What I mean is boldly stand for principles and values that improve this world for us all.
For instance, when someone is cast out by the majority — maybe because of race or religion, appearance or accent, sexual orientation or spiritual depth — what I hope is that our new graduates and all of us will boldly stand with and for that person. When we do, we answer the question “what now” by saying that now is the time for no more prejudice, no more bias, no more discrimination. Now is the time for dignity, for community, for love.
Another way to be bold is by not making life decisions based on where the money is good; instead, focus on where the work is good. That is, focus where the good comes from the difference the work makes in your life and the lives of others. When that happens, we answer the question “what now” by saying now is the time to make a difference in my life and in the lives of others.
Of course, being bold means we will make mistakes. Making honest mistakes when living life boldly is a whole lot better than living some namby-pamby, half-baked cautious life. If we avoid the possibility of making mistakes by not being bold, then we also avoid the risk of success, achievement and even joy.
Second, the E: Enjoy life!
Enjoying life doesn’t only mean be happy. Happiness is good, but happiness can be temporary and fleeting.
Enjoying life means looking for joy. Joy can be lasting partly because joy comes from pursuing one’s interests and passions. My advice to those going on to college — which is not always well-received by their parents — is study what you love. Studying what is marketable might work for a while, but usually it only works a while. Studying what you love is much more likely to last!
Is there anything sadder than parents who pressure their children to live the parents’ dreams? Of course, we parents should give our kids advice — especially when we have their best interests at heart.
But we shouldn’t pressure our kids to live our dreams. They have or might develop dreams of their own.
Enjoy life also means enjoying family and friends. Nothing, not fame or fortune, not diplomas or distinctions, can replace the joy of family or true friends. When you are wrong, say so and ask for forgiveness. When someone wrongs you, offer forgiveness and hopefully reconcile. Enjoy life.
We answer the question “what now” by saying now is the time to enjoy life by pursuing my passions and interests, and by enjoying my family.
Third, the A: Ask questions!
Ask questions. Ask why things are the way they appear to be. More importantly, ask why things are not the way they ought to be.
I like to illustrate this point by saying it is absolutely great to help clean trash out of a creek. And it’s important to go up stream and ask who is putting the trash in to start with.
It’s absolutely great to build houses with Habitat for Humanity. And it’s important to ask why so many people are homeless.
An especially important question for us all to ask ourselves is, “Who tells you who you are?”
Some people need money to tell them who they are. Money is important and can be put to great use, but money shouldn’t define who we are.
Some people need power to tell them who they are. Some need academic institutions. Oddly, some need enemies, and without enemies to stand against, they don’t know what they stand for.
If it’s God telling us who we are, then we don’t have to prove ourselves. If God tells us who we are, then we are precious, unprecedented, unrepeatable, irreplaceable. Rather than proving ourselves, we simply need to express ourselves as the ones God made and meant for us to be.
We answer the question “what now” by saying now is the time to ask questions.
Finally, the R: Reimagine reality!
First of all, we reimagine the reality of our lives. Yes, we make mistakes, but we don’t need to cling to those mistakes as though they are the holiest things in our lives! They are not, so quit letting them weigh you down.
Yes, we sin. However — and this is one of my favorite things to say — there is more forgiveness in God than sin in you! Accept that forgiveness and face today’s challenges with today’s strength. You should never let yesterday dictate tomorrow.
The second part of reimagining reality is to reimagine our community and world with hope. I love the definition of hope that says “Hope is belief despite the evidence and then making the evidence change.”
We answer the question “what now” by saying now is the time to reimagine reality for ourselves and others.
“What now?” is not a question intended to cause panic and concern. Instead, my use of “What now?” is to recognize that our future is open, that we may do more than others expect of us, that at every point in our development we are striving to grow.
At the end of the day, my hope for the class of 2009 is a hope for us all: rather than focus so much on how to make a living, we focus on how to make lives worth living.
Friday, June 05, 2009
Giving Youth Roots and Branches
The congregation I serve, First Christian Church, just celebrated a great weekend! On Saturday, we graduated 30 proud preschoolers, watched by their prouder families, from our Discovery Preschool. It was well organized, enjoyable and fun to see the soon-to-be kindergarteners celebrate what they have learned academically, socially and spiritually.
On Sunday, we celebrated the graduations of fifteen from our congregation: 10 from high school, 3 from college and 2 from graduate schools. By anyone’s standards (and mine are pretty high), they are a remarkable lot. Genuinely concerned for others and God’s world, musical, athletic, smart, informed, involved and interesting, this group is enough to restore some hope in our present and future.
Both celebrations were wonderful. Amid the smiles and joy, fond memories and hopeful dreams, and a few tears, both celebrations reminded me of the terrifying yet terrific work of parenting.
I don’t know about you, but I rarely find parenting to be easy. Yes, it is (often) enjoyable, but rarely easy – even during the stable, business-as-usual times.
When a major life transition hits, such as a graduation, knowing what to say or do can be downright tough! This is no business-as-usual. Now your child is passing from one season of life to a new one. And with that change in life are new challenges and chances, heartaches and hopes.
As a caring parent, what do you say? What do you do? On what should you focus during these times? Well, here’s one idea: focus during these times on roots and branches.
No, I’m not saying go plant a tree together – although that’s not a bad idea. I mean focus your conversations on roots and branches.
First, the roots. Help your children know who they are. Help them know whose they are. Help them know their values. Help them find their voice. Nourish those roots well so that they will grow deep and strong.
What are some good roots to strengthen? Here’s one: Don’t ridicule those different than you. Or, see what you can learn from every person you encounter. Or, finish what you start.
Help others. And, celebrate the successes of others with the same gusto you hope they celebrate yours. The phrase “thank you” is one of the most powerful in all of language, so use it.
Those are some roots. I’m sure you can think of more.
Second, don’t forget that the point of strong roots is to put forth healthy branches. The point of knowing who you and whose you are is to be able to reach out and grow more. If roots are needed to realize values and voice, so branches help us realize our vision; better yet, by branching out, we realize God’s vision for us.
What are some branches to give our kids? Here’s one of my favorites: Your history should not dictate your future.
Rarely is failure final. Try something new. Stand for what is right, even when it is costly. The world can change for the better, and you can help it. It is always a good time to change your mind when to do so will widen your heart.
Now I know that reminding kids of their roots is more comfortable than giving them branches on which to move forward. I also know that both are important and needed.
So I’ll conclude with perhaps my all-time favorite truth as we move forward: There is more forgiveness in God than sin in you.
These are days of graduations, days of transitions; these are days to celebrate!
On Sunday, we celebrated the graduations of fifteen from our congregation: 10 from high school, 3 from college and 2 from graduate schools. By anyone’s standards (and mine are pretty high), they are a remarkable lot. Genuinely concerned for others and God’s world, musical, athletic, smart, informed, involved and interesting, this group is enough to restore some hope in our present and future.
Both celebrations were wonderful. Amid the smiles and joy, fond memories and hopeful dreams, and a few tears, both celebrations reminded me of the terrifying yet terrific work of parenting.
I don’t know about you, but I rarely find parenting to be easy. Yes, it is (often) enjoyable, but rarely easy – even during the stable, business-as-usual times.
When a major life transition hits, such as a graduation, knowing what to say or do can be downright tough! This is no business-as-usual. Now your child is passing from one season of life to a new one. And with that change in life are new challenges and chances, heartaches and hopes.
As a caring parent, what do you say? What do you do? On what should you focus during these times? Well, here’s one idea: focus during these times on roots and branches.
No, I’m not saying go plant a tree together – although that’s not a bad idea. I mean focus your conversations on roots and branches.
First, the roots. Help your children know who they are. Help them know whose they are. Help them know their values. Help them find their voice. Nourish those roots well so that they will grow deep and strong.
What are some good roots to strengthen? Here’s one: Don’t ridicule those different than you. Or, see what you can learn from every person you encounter. Or, finish what you start.
Help others. And, celebrate the successes of others with the same gusto you hope they celebrate yours. The phrase “thank you” is one of the most powerful in all of language, so use it.
Those are some roots. I’m sure you can think of more.
Second, don’t forget that the point of strong roots is to put forth healthy branches. The point of knowing who you and whose you are is to be able to reach out and grow more. If roots are needed to realize values and voice, so branches help us realize our vision; better yet, by branching out, we realize God’s vision for us.
What are some branches to give our kids? Here’s one of my favorites: Your history should not dictate your future.
Rarely is failure final. Try something new. Stand for what is right, even when it is costly. The world can change for the better, and you can help it. It is always a good time to change your mind when to do so will widen your heart.
Now I know that reminding kids of their roots is more comfortable than giving them branches on which to move forward. I also know that both are important and needed.
So I’ll conclude with perhaps my all-time favorite truth as we move forward: There is more forgiveness in God than sin in you.
These are days of graduations, days of transitions; these are days to celebrate!
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